OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Randomize
