wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
