Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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