we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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