i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
