You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
