i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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