just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
