So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
