i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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