The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Randomize
