if i can run in heels then i can drive
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
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