It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
