I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
