Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
