You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Randomize