I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
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