peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
