it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Randomize
