discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
do nipples grow back?
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