Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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