I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize