with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
