that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize