At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Randomize
