I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
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