just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I want to make a zoo with you.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Randomize