Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
