Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
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