You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
honey bunches of taint.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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