I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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