The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
