I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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