on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
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