What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
