i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
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