I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize
