I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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