Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize