whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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