everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Come see our sink grown plant.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
