Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize