i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
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