so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
He has the fingertips of a God
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