Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
