Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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