k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
i wish my penis had a tongue
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize