i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize
