so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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