Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
