I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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