some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
