Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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