playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
