That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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