was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
