just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Randomize
