But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
