anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
