I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
soo... how was my night?
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
