I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
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