So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
So vagazzling was a success
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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