I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize
