Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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