C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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