you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Randomize
